6 tips to stop envying others
To envy others is a way to desire what they have. I often met people who envied other people. To start with my family. One of my aunts had the annoying tendency to envy my parents and me. Yet we were not rolling on gold but our way of life was a little better than her.
This difference was enough to create a gap between us for years and eventually divide us. Indeed, my aunt had taken the habit of going for hot gorges in the rest of the family about us, and especially towards my father.
This example among thousands of others may lead us to wonder why do we so much need to envy others. And where does this impression come from, that others always have a better life than ours?
The answer to these questions is simple: because most of the time others do what we want to do and already have what we want to have.
Although it is normal to have a certain desire for the people we admire, if this desire does not motivate us to improve us by concrete actions, then the result of this resentment can become in the long run problematic: frustration, aggressiveness , hypocrisy ...
To envy the existence of some, we also run the risk of despising OUR life, because we do not feel up to the "exemplary" lives that we aspire.
Envy is undoubtedly one of the most shameful feelings because to be envious is to reveal our dissatisfaction and helplessness.
To stop envying others, you must learn to look at YOUR life first and respect it as it is today. Even if we do not like it.
NB: Before continuing this article, I open a little parenthesis to understand how jealousy and envy differ. These two words are often confused as much in their meaning as in their use.
We often confuse envy and jealousy. Many people use the words "jealousy" and "envy" to express the same feeling. These are emotions that are quite similar except that in reality they are quite distinct.
Most of the time, these two emotions are transformed into aggressiveness, which is why it is all the more difficult to differentiate them.
Jealousy
The feeling of jealousy occurs whenever something / someone who is important to you is threatened. It is a feeling of unease that arises to protect you when you fear that we will remove it.
When you are jealous, you want to hurt the person because you do not want her to take away that something that belongs to you. Also note that jealousy is often accompanied by envy.
Take a typical example: If your wife seems to be attracted to a certain type of man, you are likely to be jealous because you are afraid that she will leave you. But at the same time, you can envy this type of men because they have qualities that you do not think you have yourself (they express themselves easily, are beautiful and rich, have charisma ...).
envy
Envy, on the other hand, is a feeling that occurs when someone has something that you want for yourself. The other has something you would like to have but you do not have. Therefore, there is a gap between what you own and what the other person has (remember the example at the beginning of the article with my aunt).
This feeling of unease arises in order to eliminate this gap by lowering the other or by putting yourself squarely on a pedestal. Indeed, when you are envious, you want to hurt the person because you do not want it to be superior to you.
Unlike jealousy, envy can quite live without jealousy. For example, you can envy someone's situation without causing any sense of jealousy, because you are not afraid that something that belongs to you will be taken away.
Now that you know the difference between envy and jealousy, let's go over some tips to stop envying others:
❶ Try have some projects and try to reach them
Most envious people are people who do not have specific projects. When we do not really know what we want to have, who we want to be and what we want to achieve in our lives, we spend our time envying others.
By having projects and giving ourselves the means to reach them, we will give ourselves the means to stop envying others and to follow our own destiny.
❷ Do not rely on appearances
Always be wary of appearances. It's not because a person seems to have everything we would like to have that, this is really the case. We want what she has (or who she is) through her successes but maybe this person is not at all fulfilled and also experiences frustrations!
It may even be that this person envies us because we have achieved something that comes from source, but that is not necessarily for her.
The clothes do not make the man. We must not draw conclusions based on what we see. There are lots of things that we do not see and that escape us!
❸ Be generous
This is good advice to stop envying others. By learning to help others, especially those who can not help us in return, we are reversing the roles.
How generous can we stop envying others?
The explanation is simple: instead of being the one who envies others, we become the one who is envied. Of course, you do not have to be generous in order to get what you want, otherwise it's called manipulation. No, you have to learn to become generous and open to others sincerely.
By cultivating this generosity daily and sincerely, one increases with time one's self-confidence. One becomes even a model, a reference on which to rely. Therefore, we stop envying others. Indeed, what can be more rewarding than being admired and considered as a model of "exemplary" life?
❹ Don't compare yourself to others
"But he got his bac and not me" ... Typical reaction!
One of the biggest differences between those who accomplish their goals and others is that they do not waste their time comparing themselves to others. They create a plan of action and take action.
In addition, comparing oneself to others amounts to having a loser mentality instead of having a winning mentality. Indeed, behaving like a loser will greatly affect our self-esteem and this is not how we will change. At least not in the sense we want.
One thing is certain, there will always be someone "better" than us, so it's useless to compare ourselves to others by focusing on what they have (or do). It is better to focus on yourself and think about how to get what we are so lacking.
Feeling gratitude for all that one possesses is an effective technique to blossom and stop envying others.
Let's develop a little: Knowing how to thank life for what it brings - good and bad - can help us to understand why we are here and to concretely define what needs to be done to achieve what we are doing. wish.
I already hear people saying to themselves, "But if nothing ever happens to me in my life, what can I be grateful for?"
To this question I would answer that we can be grateful for a multitude of events. For example be grateful for some nice little things that happen to us or that we have received.
The problem for most people is that they take for granted a phenomenal amount of things. So, they do not even think to be grateful anymore because they start from the principle that it is "normal" since it is acquired.
We must therefore practice gratitude for a few minutes a day, even for small things that seem insignificant. This will reduce greed on the lives of others.
❻ Developing a Winning Attitude Behaving enviously about
things that others have, often translates a lack in one area of our lives. And to play the role of the loser. Example: being envious because someone else got the job for us.
But focusing one's mind on lack can really alter our emotions and even our whole life. Rather than envying others in secret and saying "Oh if only I had this or that" , it's better to behave like a winner with the right attitude: to ask how to get that thing the other may even go straight to find her for advice.
In the same way, developing a winning attitude allows us to be more receptive to the opportunities that come before our eyes. These opportunities, which were previously invisible, will make it easier for us to get on the right track and, consequently, to make us act better.
This difference was enough to create a gap between us for years and eventually divide us. Indeed, my aunt had taken the habit of going for hot gorges in the rest of the family about us, and especially towards my father.
This example among thousands of others may lead us to wonder why do we so much need to envy others. And where does this impression come from, that others always have a better life than ours?
The answer to these questions is simple: because most of the time others do what we want to do and already have what we want to have.
Although it is normal to have a certain desire for the people we admire, if this desire does not motivate us to improve us by concrete actions, then the result of this resentment can become in the long run problematic: frustration, aggressiveness , hypocrisy ...
To envy the existence of some, we also run the risk of despising OUR life, because we do not feel up to the "exemplary" lives that we aspire.
Envy is undoubtedly one of the most shameful feelings because to be envious is to reveal our dissatisfaction and helplessness.
To stop envying others, you must learn to look at YOUR life first and respect it as it is today. Even if we do not like it.
NB: Before continuing this article, I open a little parenthesis to understand how jealousy and envy differ. These two words are often confused as much in their meaning as in their use.
Envy and jealousy: the difference
We often confuse envy and jealousy. Many people use the words "jealousy" and "envy" to express the same feeling. These are emotions that are quite similar except that in reality they are quite distinct.
Most of the time, these two emotions are transformed into aggressiveness, which is why it is all the more difficult to differentiate them.
Jealousy
The feeling of jealousy occurs whenever something / someone who is important to you is threatened. It is a feeling of unease that arises to protect you when you fear that we will remove it.
When you are jealous, you want to hurt the person because you do not want her to take away that something that belongs to you. Also note that jealousy is often accompanied by envy.
Take a typical example: If your wife seems to be attracted to a certain type of man, you are likely to be jealous because you are afraid that she will leave you. But at the same time, you can envy this type of men because they have qualities that you do not think you have yourself (they express themselves easily, are beautiful and rich, have charisma ...).
envy
Envy, on the other hand, is a feeling that occurs when someone has something that you want for yourself. The other has something you would like to have but you do not have. Therefore, there is a gap between what you own and what the other person has (remember the example at the beginning of the article with my aunt).
This feeling of unease arises in order to eliminate this gap by lowering the other or by putting yourself squarely on a pedestal. Indeed, when you are envious, you want to hurt the person because you do not want it to be superior to you.
Unlike jealousy, envy can quite live without jealousy. For example, you can envy someone's situation without causing any sense of jealousy, because you are not afraid that something that belongs to you will be taken away.
Now that you know the difference between envy and jealousy, let's go over some tips to stop envying others:
6 tips to stop envying others
❶ Try have some projects and try to reach them
Most envious people are people who do not have specific projects. When we do not really know what we want to have, who we want to be and what we want to achieve in our lives, we spend our time envying others.
By having projects and giving ourselves the means to reach them, we will give ourselves the means to stop envying others and to follow our own destiny.
❷ Do not rely on appearances
Always be wary of appearances. It's not because a person seems to have everything we would like to have that, this is really the case. We want what she has (or who she is) through her successes but maybe this person is not at all fulfilled and also experiences frustrations!
It may even be that this person envies us because we have achieved something that comes from source, but that is not necessarily for her.
The clothes do not make the man. We must not draw conclusions based on what we see. There are lots of things that we do not see and that escape us!
❸ Be generous
This is good advice to stop envying others. By learning to help others, especially those who can not help us in return, we are reversing the roles.
How generous can we stop envying others?
The explanation is simple: instead of being the one who envies others, we become the one who is envied. Of course, you do not have to be generous in order to get what you want, otherwise it's called manipulation. No, you have to learn to become generous and open to others sincerely.
By cultivating this generosity daily and sincerely, one increases with time one's self-confidence. One becomes even a model, a reference on which to rely. Therefore, we stop envying others. Indeed, what can be more rewarding than being admired and considered as a model of "exemplary" life?
❹ Don't compare yourself to others
"But he got his bac and not me" ... Typical reaction!
One of the biggest differences between those who accomplish their goals and others is that they do not waste their time comparing themselves to others. They create a plan of action and take action.
In addition, comparing oneself to others amounts to having a loser mentality instead of having a winning mentality. Indeed, behaving like a loser will greatly affect our self-esteem and this is not how we will change. At least not in the sense we want.
One thing is certain, there will always be someone "better" than us, so it's useless to compare ourselves to others by focusing on what they have (or do). It is better to focus on yourself and think about how to get what we are so lacking.
Feeling gratitude for all that one possesses is an effective technique to blossom and stop envying others.
Let's develop a little: Knowing how to thank life for what it brings - good and bad - can help us to understand why we are here and to concretely define what needs to be done to achieve what we are doing. wish.
I already hear people saying to themselves, "But if nothing ever happens to me in my life, what can I be grateful for?"
To this question I would answer that we can be grateful for a multitude of events. For example be grateful for some nice little things that happen to us or that we have received.
The problem for most people is that they take for granted a phenomenal amount of things. So, they do not even think to be grateful anymore because they start from the principle that it is "normal" since it is acquired.
We must therefore practice gratitude for a few minutes a day, even for small things that seem insignificant. This will reduce greed on the lives of others.
❻ Developing a Winning Attitude Behaving enviously about
things that others have, often translates a lack in one area of our lives. And to play the role of the loser. Example: being envious because someone else got the job for us.
But focusing one's mind on lack can really alter our emotions and even our whole life. Rather than envying others in secret and saying "Oh if only I had this or that" , it's better to behave like a winner with the right attitude: to ask how to get that thing the other may even go straight to find her for advice.
In the same way, developing a winning attitude allows us to be more receptive to the opportunities that come before our eyes. These opportunities, which were previously invisible, will make it easier for us to get on the right track and, consequently, to make us act better.
Commentaires
Enregistrer un commentaire